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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28672041">Guess You Didn’t Mean What You Wrote In That Song About Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds'>lostinthesounds</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Song fic, both julie and luke are rising stars, drivers license by olivia rodrigo, six years spent apart and they’re still fools for eachother, the main song is drivers license but your shirt by chelsea cutler is also mentioned and in scenes!, they love eachother, this fic might be a mess so bare with me I love writing angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:21:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,285</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28672041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Julie Molina thought she mastered the whole “getting over being left behind by the love of your life after high school” aspect of leaving a relationship for six years. She’s outside the Orpheum on the last night of her <i>Relight Your Spark</i> tour at twenty three years old when she sees Luke Patterson again. </p><p> </p><p>She knows she still loves him, and that’s the problem. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>[inspired by Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo and Your Shirt by Chelsea Cutler]</i></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Julie Molina/Luke Patterson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>215</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Guess You Didn’t Mean What You Wrote In That Song About Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this fic is dedicated to flynn, essie and emily x. they are probably some of the biggest palina friends I have and their support means the world! in spirit of heartbreaking break up 'I'm still in love with you' songs being released as of late, I now present this roughly 15k word fic of angst and honestly it might be a mess. enjoy, leave kudos, stay safe and comment if you really love it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I got my driver's license last week<br/>Just like we always talked about<br/>'Cause you were so excited for me<br/>To finally drive up to your house<br/>But today I drove through the suburbs<br/>Crying 'cause you weren't around</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>June 15th 2014</strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>With the sun beaming down on the dashboard as the car sat parked, she took a moment to reflect. </p><p> </p><p>Julie thought it was for the best. Sitting here, in the drivers seat of Luke’s old white Acura outside of the airport entrance....she thought she knew what she had to say to make things on easier for Luke. </p><p> </p><p>They were in love, that child-like giddy love that took both of them by surprise in their freshman year of high school after being friends for what felt like forever. He was just here five minutes ago, but not as her boyfriend, but as her friend. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>He broke things off a week prior to the band’s record label audition—saying it was for the best, that their relationship would get more difficult if they went long distance—and if she stayed silent long enough in an empty car, Julie could still feel the ache in her heart. <br/><br/></p><p><br/>“You’ll be okay right?” Julie asked him, voice already on the verge of wobbling. She could feel her hands sweat against the steering wheel, and she's not even looking at him. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t see it, but she could hear Luke adjust his guitar case across his lap as his hand hovers over the lever to exit the car. He stopped for the reason. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>How could she be his friend after this? After the heartache he obviously doesn’t see written all over her face? </p><p> </p><p>”Yeah, I got my ticket with the guys.” Is all he says, swallowing hard. The hum of the car engine in park was all that filled the silence between them, and it was getting ridiculous how bad she wanted to leave already. If she stayed a minute longer, she would’ve kissed him senseless as a goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope it goes well, you guys deserve that.” <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“A potential tour deal is a big deal, it’s kinda crazy to think about.” He says flatly, unsure how to sound. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Julie felt her heart break in that moment, choosing to focus on the crowd of people entering the airport instead of the boy next to her. “It’s big.” <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p><em>The awkwardness between them is killer, but she doesn't know how to talk to him.</em> </p><p> </p><p>He was going to accomplish his dreams without her, and for a split second, she wished she never accepted the NYU offer. She wanted to go with him, wanted to make him love her forever and ever until they got old so they’d never be apart. It was distance that broke them apart, and she would drive herself mad thinking about him. About the guy that won’t be hers anymore. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>She could tell he was afraid to get out of the car, to leave her, and she hated it. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>He had more to say, she knew, but time wouldn’t allow them to speak more than a simple goodbye after the hell that’s been the last week. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“You should get going Luke,” Julie finally has the courage to say, biting her trembling bottom lip and unlocking the passenger door. She didn’t have the strength to do <em>this</em> anymore, he had to go meet up with the band. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“I ruined everything, didn’t I?” Luke took the breath out of her, and she cracked. She looked up at him, messy hair and sad eyes and Julie couldn’t handle it. “We’ll never go back to how things used to be.” <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t even a question. It was a sure statement of words that still hasn’t settled in either of their minds. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“You have your dream, I have mine.” Julie tells him, brown eyes filling with shameful tears. She hates crying, it makes her feel weak and out of control. “I’m happy for you, and I never wanted to hold you back.” <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“You <em>never</em>....” Luke paused, brows furrowed in automatic confusion. She wiped under her cheeks for any tears that fell, and his hand flinched on her arm rest, feeling the need to get closer to her. “You never held me back, I loved you—I <em>love</em>—“ </p><p> </p><p>“Please, just go.” Julie told him, unlocking the car for the second time, just for emphasis. She <em>needed</em> him out of the car right now. <br/><br/></p><p><br/>“<em>Julie</em>.” Luke pleaded, hands pulling back and clutching his guitar case. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>She glanced at the clock above the radio station screen, then back at him. “You have an hour to make it to your gate, the boys are probably waiting for you inside.” She tried blocking out any signs of regret, pain or sadness on his face that made her hope he would ask her to come with him—it wouldn’t be good for the both of them.</p><p> </p><p>“You already broke things off.” Julie whispered. “Don’t make things harder on both of us, please?” <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Luke nodded, not trusting his voice. She had no idea what was going on inside his head, but she had little doubt that she wasn’t making him crazy right now. Did he regret breaking up with her? Did he wish he could stay? Did he wish that his music wasn't the most important thing in his life because he had her?<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Neither of them knew how to speak to the other anymore. Things were done, set in stone, and she couldn’t do anything about it. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“Just know that I’m sorry.” He whispered. Taking another breath that she’s listening too intently for, he speaks again to twist the invisible knife deeper into her chest. “I’m sorry that I <em>can’t</em> stay.” <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Julie gasped, “Go.” Suddenly she was looking at him, desperate and she’s sure that this would never stop hurting. “I’ll text you to let you know that I got home safe.” <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“Don’t push me away, I still have time.” He tried to fight it. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Something changed in him then, like he wished he could stay with her. But she knew him. Julie knew him more than any other person in his life, even Alex and Reggie. Dreams were always first. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“This doesn’t have to be over, I’ll come back—“ He tries again, tries to sneak his way back into the heart that he broke. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“You’re leaving for <em>god</em> knows how long and you expect me to wait for you without any guarantee that our lives won’t change?” Julie’s shoulders slumped, broken by the sight of his frown and own trembling lip. “I can’t do that. Neither can you, Luke.” <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Luke stutters, unable to find any response in his whirling mind as he looks at the only girl he’s ever loved. At eighteen, he knew she was the one. Julie knew he was the one for her, but she had no idea how they’d ever bounce back from this. His phone chimes in his back pocket, the seat buzzing. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>He looks down at the screen notification, “I have to go now.” <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>She didn't know if she wanted to thank Alex or Reggie for ending this conversation or beg him to stay behind.</p><p> </p><p>Julie takes a deep breath, the words coming easy as if this wasn't their final goodbye. “Have a good flight, be safe." </p><p> </p><p>Luke doesn't look back when he exits the car, because he waits until Julie can't see him in the rearview mirror to look at what he just lost. They were eighteen then, foolishly in love with each other yet broken up because their dreams were more important than what seemed like a phase to others. How could they love the same person for the rest of their lives? Was there missed opportunities they would now get to experience because of his decision to leave California? </p><p> </p><p>Julie didn't want to know that answer right now. She had a lonely summer ahead of her with a broken heart and college in the fall. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And all my friends are tired</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Of hearing how much I miss you but</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I kinda feel sorry for them</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And pictured I was driving home to you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>August 29th 2020 </strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn't believe she had made it to her last tour stop. It was a home show at the Orpheum—a venue she's been lucky enough to have played twice already since the start of her professional career two years ago—and she had felt like bouncing off the walls the entire night with energy. She had gotten the sweetest gifts from fans at her earlier meet and greets, and she had been met with hesitant (she was sweaty from performing, she understood why) and strong hugs from her dad and brother Carlos who had been in the audience when she finished her set. </p><p> </p><p>Willie, one of her best friends and tour manager, had been quick to take her in-ears and congratulate her on finishing her summer tour without anything going wrong. She took a towel from the rack near the stage, wiping at her face and neck as the itch to take off her sequened purple dress grew more and more as the seconds passed. After making quick conversation with her roadies and family who were backstage, Julie tried peering over her father's head to search for Flynn. </p><p> </p><p>Flynn had been going all over the place the entire night, having moved from backstage in the beginning of the show to front row to interact with fans and record songs for herself. She hadn't seen the girl since she first got off stage from the <em>Wake Up </em>encore, but she remembered seeing her phone pressed to her ear as she went into an empty room down the hall. Deciding not to worry about, she turned back to her brother and ask about how his senior year of high school was going. </p><p> </p><p>She hadn't seen him in almost seven months, and as much as they bothered each other when they were younger, she missed her dad and brother more than anything. After graduating from NYU in liberal performing arts two years ago, she moved back home until she got on her feet and managed to get a record deal in a matter of months. Flynn eventually was able to help hook up some connections with 'Destiny Management' and the rest was history. Julie had two songs on the Billboard top ten, her debut reaching the sixth spot below Taylor Swift at some point, and her first album at put her on the radio. </p><p> </p><p>(She really had no idea people would relate to missing an ex so much, especially since so many songs had the same theme. 'Your Shirt' had even reached Lewis Capaldi's level of heartache singing in her crowds.) </p><p> </p><p>Breaking out of her small trance, Julie felt the towel in her hands be taken by Willie and her attention was now focused on him. <br/><br/><br/></p><p>"Have you seen Flynn?" She asked, thankful to talk in a normal voice after shouting over speakers and singing for an hour. Julie promised her best friend a dinner date, and she wanted to search her out before she showered. "I keep missing her." </p><p> </p><p>"She was on a call with some band," Willie said mindlessly, distracted by helping her take off the pins attached to her shoulder strap. "I think they were called Sunset Swerve? Something like that, you know me I'm bad with names--" </p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn't react at first, hoping she heard wrong. Her hand reaches for his wrist to stop Willie from helping her, eyes widening. "Sunset <em>what</em>?" </p><p> </p><p>"<em>Curve</em>, sorry. It was curve." </p><p> </p><p>Carlos must've heard their conversation because he came knocking into Julie's side, grinning wide. "Luke is here? Alex? Reg? It's been years!" </p><p> </p><p>(Really? She wanted to yell at him to be quiet, but it was already too late. His words already began to sink in) </p><p> </p><p>Julie felt lightheaded all the sudden, her dad bringing her senses back when he reaches for her elbow in concern. "Are you okay, Mija? Did you ask them to come?" </p><p> </p><p><br/>She shook her head as a no. A <em>hard</em> no. She would never do that to herself. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Luke. She hadn't heard his name in so long. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Willie stepped back, afraid of what he just confessed, with a similar look of concern on his face that made Julie want to scream. She had to find Flynn. <em>Immediately</em>. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>She pushes past her brother and Willie to fast pace down the narrow hallway, calling out her best friend’s name loudly. She could almost cry in relief when she spots Flynn’s braids near the food table near the sound room, and feels her heart rate calm down again. She didn’t see <em>him</em>, and was about to start jogging to catch up with her—when she hears the familiar chuckle from someone that sounded a lot like.....<em>Reggie</em>. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>No. No. <em>No</em>. She hoped she was wrong, but she would always be the one to make Reggie laugh and smile the most in the group so she knew exactly what he sounded like. Sure, he sounded older and but she knew. </p><p> </p><p>Julie held her breath, stopping in her tracks to see Reggie and the only other blonde friend she knew (<em>Alex, because of course</em>) who was sporting a longer haircut than when they were eighteen. She could only see their side profiles, Alex cracking a smile at something Flynn said as he shyly plucked at a muffin in his hands. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“Flynn?” She couldn’t stop herself, covering her mouth almost instantly. That was all it took for the small burst of hope that the girl was alone with some roadies she didn't recognize to pop in a split second. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Her best friend turned around wide-eyed after going stiff, Alex and Reggie following suit as they all seemed to lock eyes with her. She knew she should be angry because how could Flynn bring them here without asking, and she was upset don’t get her wrong, but she felt more sad than anything. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Her problems were always with Luke, never with the other two boys. When Julie pushed him away so he could focus on their growing career, she also pushed them away and it wasn’t fair. Reggie was first to react, stepping forward to walk towards her until getting pulled back by Alex—she knew it wouldn’t be fair, not after this long, to pretend like nothing has changed—and that was when she felt the tears well up in her eyes. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“Julie?” Flynn asked, knowing well enough not to come near her either. “I’m sorry I—“ </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Julie didn’t wanna go out anymore. She wanted to go home and cry, maybe even look back at old photos of her back in high school to sulk.  <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Don’t</em>.” She warned. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Then, a new voice she recognized all too well. Julie couldn’t speak, mouth going dry at the sight of the boy she once loved walking down the hall with his hands stuck deep in his black leather jacket and smiling. Luke. <em>Her</em> Luke. “Hey boys, sorry for being late I was trying to park—“ </p><p> </p><p>She looked down just as he noticed Julie was even in front of him, and he stopped too. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“Flynn, I’ll see you later okay?” Julie rushed the words out, already feeling a tear fall down her cheek. She could feel goosebumps rise on her skin, out of pure surprise over hearing his voice after six years. She turned around on her heel, frantically trying to remember which way she came even if there was only one hallway. “Don’t even worry about the dinner we had planned, I’m going home.” <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“Julie, don’t go—“ Reggie was the one to call out to her, and she almost listened. </p><p> </p><p>It was too much at once. If Luke wasn’t a few feet in front of her, she would’ve listened and stayed behind to catch up with old friends she pushed away—but it was too early and too late all at the same time. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“Jules, I’m sorry.” Flynn’s voice sounded closer than before, and Julie wouldn’t have been surprised if she was right behind her if she turned back around. Her voice cracked as it broke into a whisper, “I thought it would be good for you.” <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn’t help herself, she turned back around and leaned into Flynn’s space to reply with a hiss. “Good for me? I haven’t seen them in years, and you know <em>how</em> I feel.” If she just looked up to her left, she would see Luke standing there and it was driving her mad. <br/><br/></p><p><br/>She was feeling dizzy again. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Maybe that was the reason why she actually did glance at him, and she had to grip Flynn’s wrist before she did something stupid like cave into his deep brown eyes that couldn’t stop looking at her. His hand was clutched in his pocket, and she could tell that Alex’s hand was gripping the back of his jacket to stop him from moving because of how still he was being. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Julie’s hands were shaking, their last conversation ringing fresh in her mind. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I ruined everything didn’t I? We’ll never go back to how things used to be?” </em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Luke’s eyes were wildly scanning her face, and she had to look away and back at Flynn before she could do the same. He had longer hair too, ending right past his ears and she swore she heard her name muttered past his lips in an awed gasp. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em>"You already broke things off. Don't make things harder on both of us, please?" </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Tell Willie that I’m going home with my dad,” Julie wonders if he thinks she’s changed at all, if she still looks the same from when she was eighteen. “I can’t do this right now.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Flynn nods, squeezing her hands to let her go and run away from the boys. She was good at that, running when life was too sudden and difficult to navigate. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Julie turns, almost bumping into someone as she began to hurry down the hallway back to her dad. She needed a hug, and a night alone. Every time she blinked back tears, she could see his face. His scruff that she just noticed in the images in her mind from five seconds before, everything catching up to her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em>"Just know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't stay." </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Julie!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">She doesn’t have any control over her feet coming to a halt, and it scares her. It scared her how fast her body reacted to Luke’s voice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Julie, please!” Luke pleaded, huffing as he navigates through a busy crew of techies putting stuff back. She was thankful for the obstacles in his way, because the minute she saw her dad and brother by her dressing room, she took off again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Julie didn’t know if he gave up, but she didn’t dare look back. Her dad took her in his arms and hugged her tightly, his soft words of encouragement was all the explanation he needed for what his daughter saw. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Just like that morning where she left him at the airport and the reality set in that he left her in California.....the ache really doesn’t go away. Julie thought she was good at burying things deep inside, but now she was proven wrong. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next time she talks to Flynn, it had been five days since the night she saw Luke. She had been home the entire time, either eating ice cream or watching old re-runs of 'Friends' that she hadn’t watched in a while to pass the time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The night of had been the hardest, Julie was close to asking Flynn for Luke’s number multiple times after drowning in the sea of pictures she had recovered from a storage bin in the back of her childhood bedroom closet. After he left during that summer, she had only texted him once before blocking his number. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She felt that it was justified at the time, being that he was so focused on getting the record deal for the band. (Plus it didn’t help his case when she was rightfully angry and heartbroken over their break up and she couldn’t see them being just friends for the rest of their lives) </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he didn’t reach out as the years went on, Luke became a thought in the back of her mind. She only thought of him when she needed inspiration or when she got sad and wrote down random lyrics in her songbook. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now that he was the forefront again because of Flynn, Julie felt justified in being direct on the phone call with her. Sitting up on her sofa, she lowers the volume of the television and adjusts the straps of her sweatshirt. (Being lazy came natural after a summer tour, and she had no problem with it) </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you ask them to come?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Flynn hesitated, but knew she couldn’t lie. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I saw that they were in town on social media, they had just finished their last tour a few weeks ago too.” She said, “I reached out and asked if they wanted to hang out since it’s been so long. The only place I’ve been at has been your house or backstage at your shows, Jules.” Flynn sighed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s a good thing you didn’t bring them here then. I would’ve done things I’ll regret.” Julie had to smile while joking. She couldn’t be too upset with her best friend for too long. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Like calling Luke?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julie scoffed, yet feeling her heart drop as she sunk into the cushions of her sofa. Her dad had gone out with Carlos to get new baseball gear, so she had the house to herself to do whatever she wanted. (Nobody would judge her for wanting to murder her best friend for saying that.) </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was close,” She admitted through gritted teeth, trying to sound unbothered. Her heart was even starting to pick up cause of nerves, “I was also just about to forgive you for what happened.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The line goes silent, Flynn taking a deep breath for what she was about to say. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a whisper through the phone, a statement she dreaded. “He never stopped loving you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Flynn—“ Julie tried to interject, not wanting to hear that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You knew he was going after you, and I know he was seconds away from running to you before Alex stopped him.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">To Julie, it sounded like an exaggeration. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s been six years.” Julie reminded her best friend, not letting the weight of her friends words sink in. “I was happy before he showed up, and no matter what he would say, I don’t need that right now. I don’t need him.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Or are you afraid he’ll leave you again?” Flynn shuts her up with that, “I remember you being the happiest when you were with him in high school.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julie could feel the tears build up, and she was getting really tired thinking back to the good times that were so obviously gone in the past. She doesn’t know the twenty three year old Luke like she knew eighteen year old Luke, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle him leaving again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine, I guess old wounds never die. I was happy with him, how could I not be? We were in love, Flynn.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re a fool if you can’t see it now. He spent the entire night bouncing his leg until I overheard Alex tell him not to leave so he could find you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Oh</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julie thought of the scene he would find if he didn’t listen—her sitting in her closet digging through photos as she tried to remember the way it felt to be loved by him. Would he have been concerned? Would she have forced him out? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was only slightly glad that she didn’t need to find out, because she didn’t trust herself that night. She was vulnerable, crying, and she hated to admit that she missed him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julie had always missed him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know what to tell you,” Julie sighed. “I don’t know how I would’ve reacted if I saw him again that night.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know you love him, Jules.” Flynn stated. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That doesn’t change anything.” The realization coming too quickly for her to debate otherwise. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He wants to talk to you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t do that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>I’ll fall back in love with him</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“At least talk to Alex, will you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Julie hung up the phone, setting it down on the couch as if it burned her. She grabbed her remote to put the television higher, only to hear her phone buzz and Flynn’s name pop up in her text notifications. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <strong> <span class="s2">850-777 </span> </strong>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <strong> <span class="s2">Call him. If you don’t wanna be with Luke or talk things out, then talk to Alex. He’ll give you closure. </span> </strong>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">It didn’t seem like a bad idea.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><hr/><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">Julie sent the first text a week later, scared out of her mind. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em> <strong>Hey Alex, it's Julie. Can we talk? </strong> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">She sees that the text delivered, letting her back recoil against her leather car seat in relief. So, he didn't block her number out of friend loyalty after all this time...</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">She was shocked to see the three impending text bubbles on his end, just as her fingers hovered over the letters as precaution incase he would say no. Flynn would tell her right now that stressing over a text message before a meeting with Willie and her team would be damaging, but she had to do this now because Julie was a sucker for procrastination sometimes. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em> <strong>Of course, are you busy? </strong> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">Julie erases her text multiple times before settling with, <strong><em>I have a meeting for the next few hours, but I'm free around 2pm for some lunch at Eat N'Beats if you're up for it. </em></strong></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">She holds her breath at the sight of his message. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em> <strong>Totally. See you later. </strong> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">And it was all she could think about for the next four hours. </p><p class="p2"> </p><hr/><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p>After getting past the awkward hellos and waiting for the other person to arrive, Julie was growing more comfortable around Alex. They were sitting in a booth in the back of the cafe, sharing a basket of fries while sipping on two chocolate milkshakes. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p>It felt like old times, like the times where the boys had just finished playing a set and needed food before going back home for the night. She would always drag them out of the cafe at midnight, just to make sure they got a few hours of sleep before school the next day. It was a good memory to replay in her head while she ate, and she wondered if Alex was thinking the same; if he was thinking of all the good times they've had in this place as teenagers. </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“It’s nice to see you.” Alex said gently, careful of pushing any buttons until he gets to the topic of conversation she’s been dreading for the last week. “I missed you, we all did.” He shrugged lightly, trying not to make it sound like a big deal. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p>Now, she was reminded of how both of their lives changed. They were both rising stars, each just finishing a summer tour with thousands of fans packed in theaters each night back in their home town. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p>“I missed you too.” Julie bit into a fry, “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out.” </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">And she meant it wholeheartedly, because him or Reggie hadn't done anything to hurt her. </p><p class="p2"> </p><p>“I understood…” Alex began to swirl his straw in his glass cup, looking down. She silently thanked him for not being specific. “It wasn’t easy to move on after high school, I want you to know that.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie nodded in agreement. </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I also know that you don’t want to hear this,” He paused, taking a breath of courage and keeping eye contact with her. Anxiety was always his thing, and although he’s gotten better in dealing with it, he had to be strong to be a moderator. “But<em> Luke</em> missed you too.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I figured that from when you said we—“ </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Luke is stubborn.” Alex interrupted her, wanting to get his thoughts in order. “We all know that, but after we left, he never moved on. He didn't want to hurt you again.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I don’t have any claim on him, I wouldn’t have been upset if he did.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She was getting defensive, therefore lying about being upset if he moved on because she...had no idea what she would’ve done. Of course she’s kept up with the band whenever they showed up on the news or social media over the years, even if she didn’t follow them, and she really didn’t know what she would’ve done. </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Alex sat up straighter, sighing. “He loves you, Julie. It’s that forever type of love that’s in fairytales, that’s the love he’ll always have for you.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Her eyes watered because she believed him. How could she not think that was true? She thought the same about Luke.  </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Fairytales don't usually end in heartbreak, do they?" Julie dry laughed, lips thinning into a flat line to ease her joke. "People who are in love don't break up cause of distance in those movies, Lex."  </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“He was scared.” He admitted. “It’s not my place to tell you because I <em>want</em> you to talk to him, but he didn’t want to fail in LA just to come back to you and be a failure.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“What?” Julie questioned. “That doesn’t make sense, I never thought—” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Alex reached across the table to grab her hand, holding it tightly. “He wasn’t afraid of long distance, Julie. He was afraid of you being disappointed in him.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I blocked him.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I know you did. I had to <em>live</em> with the aftermath.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I shut him out.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“That too.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“He broke my heart.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I know that too.” Alex said, “But now he wants to start something new with you, he knows it’ll never be the same….but it’s almost nauseating how much he wants to try.” </p><p class="p2"> </p><p> </p><p>For the first time in a long time, she doesn’t stop herself from thinking about him. She closes her eyes, letting memories of his old green knit beanie and soft brown eyes she used to love getting lost in when she first spotted his car outside her house in the mornings before school drift </p><p class="p2"> </p><p>“How….” Julie began, leaning forward. Her heart too invested in learning information now, feeling hopeful for something more. “Did he really want to run to me that night?” She asks, a smile growing across her lips. </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Alex grinned. </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“He wanted to do a lot more.” </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie covered her mouth, hiding her blush. The initial shock of even thinking about how it would feel to kiss him again wore off quickly, as she mastered years of neglecting anything Luke related if she could help it. It was only then that everything hit her at once. The conversation goes silent, just like the one she had with Flynn, and it was enough to make her break and start crying. </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She doesn’t hold back this time. </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She missed him. </p><p class="p2">
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She missed Luke, Alex knew that, but it didn't stop him from consoling Julie like how he used to. That's what friends do for each other, no matter how much time had passed. </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Red lights</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Stop signs</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I still see your face</em>
  <br/>
  <em>In the white cars</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Front yards</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Can't drive past the places</em>
  <br/>
  <em>We used to</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Go to</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'Cause I still fucking love you, babe</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Julie knew Flynn invited the boys, she had been the first person to know. It was Willie's idea to do a free show at whatever local venue she wanted to play at, just as a thank you for everyone who came out to her shows over the summer. Most people in her town had known her from high school, so Eats'N'Beats was the perfect spot to catch up with people she hadn't seen in years. She knew fans would be coming too, but her management had allowed a ticket lottery for anyone who was interested. </p><p> </p><p>She was promised that the event wouldn't allow cameras, which eased her worry with the knowledge that the boys--More specifically, Luke--were coming to see her perform a set. She didn't want to see their reactions to her songs, any of their faces as she sang love songs about the complicated relationship she had at eighteen with the guy she was sure would be stuck watching in the back of room. </p><p> </p><p>Julie felt safe on stage, like nothing in the world could stop her as she sang her stories and glided across the stage with a smile that lit the room. That was something her and Luke always had in common, their carefree attitudes and passion radiating off of them in waves into the crowds they'd play. Back then, when things felt much simpler, Julie hadn't started singing again until the Spring of her junior year; well into Sunset Curve's debut around the city. </p><p> </p><p>She never wanted to intrude on their gigs, especially when her and Luke officially got together in their sophomore year, so she saved her voice and banter with the boys at their studio in Alex's garage. </p><p> </p><p>Her life became a careful routine after her mother died when she was in middle school, and it was one of the reasons why the band's absence after graduation hit her harder than anything else at the time. </p><p> </p><p>Their absence was <em>the</em> reason why Julie stood in the storage room behind the stage, too afraid to confront the people she left behind in return before getting on that stage. </p><p> </p><p>Julie knew her face was probably plastered on one of the cafe walls, her management team most likely interacting with fans and keeping Flynn busy to make sure things were being handled smoothly--then the music would dim, and one of her track intros started--until it was time for her to go on. </p><p> </p><p>It was really an instinct, if she was honest. </p><p> </p><p>She swore she looked at Flynn first. </p><p> </p><p>But, with the way his eyes locked on hers before she could even reach to tug the mic stand to her level to get comfortable, she fought the urge to get lost in his gaze. </p><p> </p><p><em>He was set on her.</em> </p><p> </p><p>Julie couldn't look at him for too long, and she turned her head to the side to let out a shaky exhale when someone blocks her view of him. </p><p> </p><p>She tried to think of what Alex told her, as the instrumental kicked in to the first song on her setlist. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>We all know that, but after we left, he never moved on. He didn't want to hurt you again.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She runs her hands down the front of her black jeans, not wanting to mess up the tie knot she made in her white graphic tee. If he could see her right now, he would notice that it was a nervous tick that she hadn't grown out of. </p><p> </p><p>"Hey everyone, thanks for coming tonight." Julie spoke into the mic, a gentle welcome to get people in the mood to listen. The stage lights dimmed, illuminating her frame in a warm hue of color. She could see Flynn make her way to the front of the stage, and she smiled. </p><p> </p><p>It doesn't hit her that she was actually starting off the set with <em>Your Shirt,</em> until she sings the lyrics out of memory once her cue kicks in. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>This time it don't</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Feel like you want it all</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Did I do something wrong to make you go?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Said, I would know</em>
  <br/>
  <em>When it's all good to fall</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Now, I just need you here to hold me close</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Time slips away from her, the only focus taking forefront was the familiar image of Luke's old Rush t-shirt that he ripped the sleeves off of at sixteen (the object that the song was always about) and making sure she was hitting the right notes. As for the way Luke watched from the back of the cafe, possibly realizing that every lyric was about him; it doesn't even cross her mind. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>She had been looking for her scarf for the past five minutes when she decided to go outside and clear her head. Maybe if she took a breath and remembered where she put it, questioning if Flynn moved her coat when they arrived, she would find it faster. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Sure Julie could get a new one, but it had been her mother’s and she didn’t want to replace it. If she lost it, then it would be gone forever. The navy blue material was knitted into a hoop shape, so she could curl it around her neck multiple layers and when her mom died...she added a dahlia on the inside stitch to remember her. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It was her fault for bringing it to an official event with strangers but she didn’t think anything would happen to the scarf. Julie had naturally been a cold person, so with fall starting in the first few weeks of September when the temperature dropped to the fifties, she already had to whip out scarves. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Ugh. She whipped out her phone from her jacket pocket (thankfully her fleece coat was safe) and tried calling Willie again. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Julie?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She froze, sniffling back any sudden tears that were about to fall from texting Willie an angry and depressed monologue about why he would move her things. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie looked up slowly, and the sight before her made her heart leap to her throat. Luke was standing in front of her, and this was the first word he had spoken to her directly in five years. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Twenty three year old Luke with his wool leather jacket, long hair, silver ring wearing hands that were holding her mother’s scarf. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I saw Flynn misplace it halfway through your set, and the coat rack was getting full so…” Luke paused, out stretching his hands for her to grab it from him. She stayed speechless, not moving. He walked closer, “I didn’t want it to fall on the floor because I know how much it means to you.” </p><p> </p><p>Of course he would know what the scarf looked like, it was one of the only things she wore during the winter. He must’ve remembered that. </p><p> </p><p>Julie’s gaze switches back and forth to her scarf and Luke’s gentle eyes, and wonders if time really did change anything between them as the warmth of his presence overtakes her senses. </p><p> </p><p>He remembered. </p><p> </p><p>“I was looking for it for a while,” She found words to say, taking it from his hands. When his fingers brushed against her knuckles as she reached for it, Julie felt her breath hitch. After most likely clutching her scarf for a good ten minutes wondering how he would approach her, his hands were warm and like heaven on her cold hands from being outside. “I thought I lost it.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He said softly, pulling his hands back to rest at his sides. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie let herself believe he meant the apology for something else. She let herself believe he was apologizing for everything he put her through. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>But it was just a scarf. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“No you’re fine.” She says, smiling a little despite her heart racing as she acknowledges the fact that this was the longest they’ve spoken since the airport goodbye. “Thank you.” She knows she has to say it, if not it’ll drive her crazy. “It means a lot, Luke.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It’s getting late.” He looks down the road at the passing cars. “Are you waiting for someone?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie held her mother’s scarf to her chest, adjusting her purse strap on her shoulder. It gave her a sense of comfort in this conversation. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Flynn is getting the car from a few blocks down, she gave me a few extra minutes to look.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’m happy to see you guys are still friends.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Well she didn’t leave me. Not like you did. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Thanks.” Julie told him, rocking back and forth on her heels. “We’ve been through a lot together.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Luke was about to open his mouth to say something in response, something that probably would’ve made her cry when she thought about it later if he even dared to bring up the past when she has no one else to talk to; when she sees Flynn’s Honda Pilot round the corner street. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’ll see you around.” Julie swung the scarf over her shoulder and awkwardly raised her hand to wave at him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She starts walking down the sidewalk towards Flynn’s car that came to a stop in front of a grocery store at the end of the block. Julie hoped she wouldn’t be bothered too much about Luke, someone she would obviously notice was standing right next to her under the street lamps. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Wait.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie stops, turning around at his urgency. Did she drop something? </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Luke was wringing his hands together, not knowing what to do with them. He bites his tongue before it was too late, and asks something she least expected to come out of his mouth. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Are you doing anything tomorrow night?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie swallowed hard, thinking about any plans she might have. This event was the last thing she had planned with the label for a few weeks. She was free. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“No, I’m free actually.” She told him, tilting her head. “Is there a reason why you asked?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Luke reached up to scratch the back of his head, ruffling his curls and making her heart stop. She used to get caught up in the way his curls looked after he did that. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“There’s a diner across the street from the studio we rehearse at when we’re in LA, it’s like twenty minutes out.” He luckily stops messing with his hair, and they lock eyes. She waits for him to finish, “I really wanna talk over some dinner if that’s okay with you.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie looks back at Flynn’s car, knowing she shouldn’t be keeping her friend waiting for so long. She tries to think of what could go wrong, finally deciding to just give into the part of her that really wanted to say yes. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>In her mind, she could just convince herself that it was a thank you for keeping her scarf safe. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Things would never go back to the way they used to be, that’s what she told him when he left. He knows that. He wouldn’t be trying anything to get back with her or be a flirt, and she still trusts him under all of the walls she put up in order to move on from their relationship. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Maybe they could actually be friends. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Maybe this was their chance. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Is your number still the same?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>For some reason, Julie hoped he changed it. She didn’t want to think that if she just unblocked him before they drifted apart, they would’ve still been in contact. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Yeah.” Luke nods, a smile stretching across his features and she does the same. It was automatic. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie bites her bottom lip, walking backwards towards Flynn’s car. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She doesn’t turn around until Luke does, and she walked the rest of the way to her friends car while looking down at the cement.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Flynn had a million questions whirling around in her mind, Julie knew that much. She doesn’t say anything until she closes the door, setting her scarf on the dashboard. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Luke asked me to hang out tomorrow night,” Julie said as if it wasn’t earth shattering for her best friend to hear those words come out of her mouth. She adjusts her seatbelt, clicks it into place, and feels the ache in her cheeks from keeping back a smile. “I said yes.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Luke had been a gentleman the entire evening, and it was making it harder for Julie to understand how she feels. The love is there; it’s in the way he pushes the fry basket in her direction when there’s only a few of them left, it’s in the way she had left to go to the bathroom when they walked inside the diner and he knew exactly what she would’ve ordered if she was in front of him. It was easy to love him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>But Julie didn’t want easy….she wanted explanations and answers she wasn’t ready for. When Alex had told her that Luke had strayed from finding someone else after their break up, she didn’t realize how she was the same. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>If they couldn’t move on after six years, then what did that mean? Did they have to be friends again to resolve any issues? Julie was willing to risk spending time with him to find out. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He had been careful not to overstep on any personal questions, only keeping their conversations to what life was like on tour and if she had been writing anything for any upcoming projects. She learns that Reggie had met someone, and their next album would be dropping next year since they were still working on it. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She tells him about Carlos when he asks, and even tells him about the day she found out Wake Up debuted at top ten on Billboard and how it was one of the first times she ever had a hangover the next morning. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>They laughed, smiled, and if Julie wasn’t constantly keeping her feelings and heart in check, she would think they were seventeen and somehow traveling back in time. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>When they were done with their hamburgers and milkshakes—they hadn’t realized that they were the only patrons left in the diner—they had looked around to an empty place alone in their thoughts. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’ll pay,” Luke says before she could even protest, already digging into his back jean pocket. She couldn’t argue with him, so she just nods in agreement. “As a thank you.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>When he stands to walk to the front counter, Julie gets up and grabs her purse. She had kept her outfit casual, even for her standards, a knitted blue checkered sweater and washed out jeans with her glasses. Julie tucked her mother’s scarf back into her bag from hanging over the chair, and made her way towards the door to wait. She had worn her contacts the entire day, and she didn’t want to be irritated with them in public; especially if she was going to be with Luke. She didn’t want to let the small things ruin her night. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She walks outside, waiting for Luke near the front door to breathe in the night air. She crosses her arms in the slight breeze that passes through, stuck in a moment of wonder over how she got here. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie was outside of a diner after spending an hour with Luke, the boy that broke up with her almost six years ago because he was chasing a record deal in Hollywood. They had just graduated high school, she had gotten her drivers license that winter, and eighteen year old Julie would’ve never thought that Luke would think of hurting her. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Are you alright?” A voice comes up from behind, and she turns to a concerned Luke. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The chime goes off above his head, just as he pushes the door open and she watches it close behind him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Yeah.” She nods with wide eyes. Taking a deep breath to console herself and her thoughts about the past, she smiles to reassure him. “I’m fine.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He zips up his fleece plaid sweater, the red and yellows lighting up under the diner storefront. Luke searched his pocket quickly, “I’ll drive you home.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Remembering that Flynn dropped her off, she had hoped he would say that.</p><p> </p><p>“You better,” Julie teased, falling into step with him as they walked down the block to his car. It was a newer Honda, and from first glance, she was thankful that the seats were further apart than usual so she wouldn’t have to hug the window to avoid touching him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“You’d be okay if I did.” Luke admits in a soft tone, looking straight ahead to avoid her eyes. That was new. “You always knew this town like the back of your hand.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><em> And it never felt like home after you left</em>. But, she kept that to herself. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I guess you’re right.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie should’ve seen it coming. They were in a small space together, she was falling asleep in his passenger seat with the pop radio playing in his car, and Luke’s hands were tapping on the wheel almost the entire drive. Things were bound to snap between them. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He only did that when he was withholding what he truly wanted to say in a conversation, and she didn’t want to start something that would ruin both of their nights if they confronted each other. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He pulls the gear shift back, the car coming to a stop in front of Flynn’s house. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’m really glad you agreed to this tonight.” Luke says, letting his hands relax against the wheel. It was a good distraction for him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’m happy too.” She whispered and it wasn't necessarily the biggest lie she's ever told. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Her voice wouldn’t go any higher than that, even if she tried. One of Julie’s hands reaches for the lock handle to let herself out, while the other reaches for her purse laying at her feet. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><em> Don’t say anything</em>. She pleads internally. <em> Don’t ruin our night</em>. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Julie I—“ Luke turned to her, clicking his tongue in concentration. She goes still, “I’m sorry.” He sounds defeated, like he had been dying to say that for years. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Don’t go there please.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She wanted the memory of seeing him again and talking about their music while eating burgers to be a good one. Julie wanted their possible last memory to be a good thing to look back on. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been wanting to talk about it all night,” The words rush out, like he couldn’t stay ahead of his thought process when he spoke to her. She could already feel the tears spring to her eyes and burn, but he continued. “I wanted to ask when we were talking about our music, because it wasn’t hard to tell that the song you sang the other night was about me.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie sat up and blinked back tears, she never really had a plan to avoid his reaction to her music.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I wanna go now, please.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Luke must’ve been desperate to get this off his chest because after six years of not feeling his touch, she felt his fingers wrap around her wrist. He wasn’t rough, instead choosing to console her in this small way and ground her. “I want you to talk to me. I want to talk to you about this.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Well I don’t wanna talk about anything with you right now.” Julie’s hand pulled back from his grasp, still choosing to keep her head down as she silently begged Flynn to turn on her front porch lights. She hoped her friend was watching to save her from this. She wasn’t ready to talk about this. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It wasn’t hard to connect the dots for him, it was obvious if he listened to the lyrics of <em>Your Shirt</em> that night at the cafe. She had written that song the summer after he left, and it was one of the easiest songs she’s ever written in her life because it was about Luke. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“It was the hardest thing for me to do.” Luke said shakily, letting his hands fall to his lap. If she didn’t want to talk, then she would listen. “I never wanted to hurt you, Julie.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Luke if you don’t let me—“ </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Are you really telling me that you don’t love me anymore?” She didn't need to glance at him to see that he would be looking at her with glossy eyes. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Did you wish I never came back?” Luke asked, a brokenness laced in his words that she’s never really heard before. His heart written on his sleeve, like the lyrics and stories he told through song. “Even when I told you I would?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Yes.” Julie couldn’t handle this anymore, so she began tugging at the lock handle to let herself out.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t have much luck because it was locked. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>There’s a few memories that flash the second the first tear falls down her cheek, “I wish you never came back.” She whispered harshly, knowing exactly where to hurt him.</p><p> </p><p>The first memory being their first kiss outside of their high school music room after their first band performance. The next being the first time she saw them perform at the '18 and under' club downtown. The last being their senior prom and their prom pictures buried in the bottom of the bin in her closet. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The same bin that she dug through the first night she saw him again. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Julie.” Luke begged, “Calm down, please.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He reaches over to get her hand away from the buttons, out of worry that she’ll hurt herself if she cramped up or the possibility that the lever is pulled back against her skin if she pulls hard enough. He wouldn't be surprised if she actually did break something on his door if he didn't stop her. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>"Jules," Luke used to call her that when they were alone in a room together, it was a nickname that only came out if no one else was around to hear it. <em>Everything happened so fast after that</em>. "You're gonna hurt yourself."</p><p> </p><p>He said, and the nickname still hadn't registered in her brain yet. She froze, and her head snapped up as her hand pulled back from the door with words like <em>why</em> dying on the tip of her tongue and her lack of awareness sunk in. Julie raised her head to try to keep him away because of her frustration, right when Luke leaned forward to calm her down; which was when their lips grazed together. </p><p> </p><p>It was too quick to sink into the feeling, and she was glad that he pulled away as soon as their lips met. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She barely felt it. She barely allowed herself to even have the feeling as a memory to look back on later. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>They both gasp in shock, and his instinct was to reach up and caress her cheek as his eyes search her own for any sign of disgust. Of course, he wouldn't find any; she was too busy trying not to cry and not make a fool out of herself for the second time. Julie grips onto his elbow, keeping him a few inches away from her face. His hand shakes against her cheek, and Julie doesn’t move as she tensed up against the headrest. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Something changed between them. A wall broken down. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I wish you never came back.” She repeated, taking a mental note of the features that changed on his face by having him so close. Her lips feel like they’re on fire, even if they barely kissed, and she finds herself staring at the wrinkle between his brows that show his age and worry over what she’s telling him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“You don’t mean that.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie found herself leaning into his touch, closing her eyes to stop any more tears from falling. “I wish I never saw you again because I didn’t know that I still loved you until now. I wouldn’t be wishing that things never changed or that I never went to New York.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Luke pulls his hand away from her cheek, not wanting to do something he’ll regret; like kissing her for real while looking at her lips every time he blinked being that close to her. He takes a deep breath, slowly inching back into his seat.  “It was never easy for us, huh?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He’s in a daze, mind clouded by the shocked memory of the way her lips felt against his and the way his heart tore at her realization. He looks down at his drivers side door, unlocking the passenger door. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’m sorry you feel that way.” Luke added, clearing his throat as he turns the radio a little louder. It was a song he didn’t recognize, but he waited until Julie left the car to battle out the silence that dawned after this mess of a conversation. She was wrong. Loving her was as easy as breathing for him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He ruined them. He tried to fix it, but after Julie’s reaction, he knows he can’t. </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie grabs her songbook one night, a few days later when she’s unable to sleep because of the lyrics swirling around in her head. She sits up against her headboard, scrambles to take her glasses from her nightstand, deciding to just give into her emotions. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She’s had the same bridge in her head for days, and Julie was no stranger to insomnia that came with being obsessed with starting a song. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Luke had been the center of her thoughts lately ever since that night in his car, and she couldn’t get his saddened eyes and frown out of her head. It was his fault that she couldn’t sleep unless she wrote yet another love song about him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She swore that she didn’t love him anymore. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She also swore that things would never be the same between them. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie didn’t know what to believe anymore. She was tired of the warm feeling she felt in her stomach every time she thought about him now, yet kept trying to remind herself not to open herself up to him again. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Would they crash and burn again? </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She just knew what her heart believed, and how fast her heartbeat raced at the thought of falling back in love with him if she let herself go. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>So she does that she does best. She opens her songbook that’s always hidden in her childhood dream box, black pen in hand, and lamp turned on so she could flip through the book to an empty page. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em>"I got my driver's license last week<br/>Just like we always talked about<br/>'Cause you were so excited for me<br/>To finally drive up to your house<br/>But today I drove through the suburbs<br/>Crying 'cause you weren't around"</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The words come easy when she finally lets go, her hand racing against the pages to write down everything and every emotion that resurfaced after these last few weeks of knowing Luke. She thinks of their past, the pain that came after their breakup, and the way she felt after she ran away from him at the food table at her last show. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She thinks of the way the world seemed to stop and revolve around them two as he handed back her scarf and their fingers brushed together. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She thinks of the way he wanted to make her listen to his side of things when she was stubborn and acting like he was the worst person she’s ever met. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie doesn’t put her pen down until the sun comes up. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It was therapeutic in a lot of ways. She knew that once she wrote the last line, her new song would either be a goodbye for closure or the beginning of their new chapter and whatever came next.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She knew it was up to her to decide the meaning, and she won’t know how she feels until she performs the song. Julie connected to her songs more when she heard them produced or sung out loud, she needed the story to be told in order for her to connect and think of the meaning. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie needed him to hear the song. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She needed Luke to hear how she felt without being trapped by him or their past confrontations. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It wasn’t a surprise that her team loved the song. They knew that her expertise was with writing songs like these, and putting a sad love song out into the world during the fall season would only skyrocket her influence. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Willie had been an extra help along with Flynn, encouraging her to reach out to clubs downtown to play the record in public. She didn’t want her fans to know yet, mainly wanting people’s first reactions to be genuine. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie gets the call on a Friday as she leaves her studio after a day of rehearsal. Her nerves don’t settle until Sunday night, when she’s standing outside of the Hollywood Ghost Club—a rising club that had special events every day for different genres of music, and Willie told her they were more than excited to have her play on their night of acoustic music—and mentally preparing herself to sing to her ex and convince herself that they could never work out again.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Sidewalks we crossed.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The adrenaline rushed through her veins, making her sing louder into the microphone during the bridge of the song. She may have been sitting down at her keyboard with her back turned to the audience, but Julie could feel everyone’s eyes on her as she sang. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> I still hear your voice in the traffic.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Was Luke looking at her? Was he listening to the lyrics? Would he leave the venue in a fit of anger at himself or how she’s been treating him like a complete stranger? </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> We’re laughing over all the noise, god I’m so blue, know we’re through.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie looked up for a second, feeling her heart pour into her lyrics unlike anything she’s ever felt before. She could hear the track play around her, the sound of the drums almost drowning out her racing heart when she looked out into the crowd. She sees Flynn in the front row, swaying with Willie next to her. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She knows she’s getting to the end of the bridge, and her throat feels a little dry as she finds herself unable to stop looking for Luke. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Flynn swore they would come, and she knew Luke wouldn’t pass up the chance to see her perform if he was asked to. No matter how their conversation went down in his car, their love for each other was ultimately still there. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She would never stop loving him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>And it was terrifying that she wanted to go all the way again and risk being hurt again. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The room was dark, the only lights that illuminated the audience were the table lamps that were centered in the middle as centerpieces. Most of the venue were people she’s never met, older people who have never gone to her shows or heard her music outside of the set she created for tonight—but there was one person who knew her heart, who knew what it was like to love her—and Julie felt like she was glowing under the spotlight. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She didn’t know what would happen after she finished singing the bridge. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie couldn’t see Luke’s face, but she knew the boys were here. She knew inside that he was watching her and somehow, in her mix of conflicting emotions and slowly mending heart, that was enough. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> But I still fucking love you.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>To Julie, it felt like Willie hadn’t waited a minute to tell her the news after getting a standing ovation to finish her set. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She hadn’t even flattened out her white blouse after sitting at a bench for twenty minutes or fixed her curls before he pulled her off to the side as the lights came back on the club. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I just got word from the team,” Willie began, holding onto her shoulders excitedly. She couldn’t help but smile at his antics, noticing how his long hair fell loosely out of his bun and kept falling into his face. She reached a hand out, straightening his suit jacket. “I have a surprise for you.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“That has to be good right?” She asked curiously, just as Flynn came into view with her heels clicking against the marble floor and stood next to her. Julie turns to her, “Do you have any idea what he’s going to tell me?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Flynn flicks her braids over her shoulder, grinning. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Tell her!” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“You’re going to New York tomorrow,” Julie’s eyes widened, and Willie kept going. “The team loved the song so much that they sent it to radio stations in advance for a release in two days. This is gonna be huge for you Julie! You’ll get to do a few interviews and then have a country-wide release on Friday.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She didn’t know what to say. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She hadn’t been interviewed since before her summer tour, and she was always anxious and eager to share new songs as soon as she finished them. She loved sharing her stories with fans, feeling like she would always get closer with her listeners if they could relate to what she’s gone through. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Now that Luke heard the song….she didn’t need to hide it anymore. There was no reason to. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“That’s great, Willie” Julie finally responded, bringing him and Flynn into a hug. Before she could even stress about packing or making sure she was even ready for a press tour for her next apparent single, she needed to say something first. “Thank you for finding me a place to play tonight.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It was mostly directed at Flynn, because if she hadn’t pushed Luke back into her life…..the song wouldn’t have been written. She wouldn’t have been feeling an ounce of hope for— </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Julie?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Luke.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She turns around swiftly, her smile slightly fading at the sight of a breathless and rustled haired Luke as he stares at her with this wild gaze that took her own breath away. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I need to talk to you.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Luke kept his distance, even in the small space that consisted of a makeshift backstage area behind the curtains of the stage. For that, she was grateful because he hadn’t forced her to say anything yet. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’m sorry about what happened in the car that night, I overstepped and it wasn’t right.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie put her hands in her back pockets in her dress slacks, not knowing how to stand to ease the awkwardness between their bodies right now. They had basically kissed the last time she saw him, and he was cautious of even going less than five feet away from where she stood. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>They were standing at opposite ends of the curtain, completely blocked by the audience and stage setup, and Julie felt like she couldn’t breathe. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She wanted him to talk about the song. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Julie wanted him to tell her what he thought of the lyrics.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She shook her head to brush that night off, “It’s fine, I think we needed that to happen to move on.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Regretting having said that, she looks away. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Move on?” Luke questioned, finger pointing to the curtain and gesturing to her performance. He looked at her like she had a third eye, completely rocked by the contradictions they both knew she was making. “That song Julie….” He really didn’t know what to say. “It was <em>far</em> from moving on for me.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“It was a start, Luke.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“You were the one that told me that all you wanted was for me to disappear, so you had six years to get over me.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie knew he was right, but it didn’t stop her heart from dropping to her feet; a mix of anger and frustration over the call out running through her as she stepped towards him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>If he wanted to confront her about <em> that, </em>then she would bring something else to the table. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’m sure seeing your ex after six years does that to a girl!” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Being so close to the speakers that were currently playing some jazz music she’s never listened to had its advantages because as they inched closer together, the music was getting louder for everyone else in the venue. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Was one break up song not enough for you?” Luke’s eyes narrowed, entirely focused on the way her face fell. He stepped forward, daring her to match his challenge until their feet touch. “Did you really have to rub it in a second time that you missed me more than anything else in this <em> damn </em> world and won’t do anything about it?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The longing in his voice made it seem like he was going to fall apart at the seams, but the aggressive side made her feel like this was all her fault. And it wasn’t. </p><p> </p><p>“I did no <em> such </em> thing.” She emphasized to argue back, stepping forward on stubborn toes to annoy him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>(He would never be annoyed by her though….it was something she always knew.) </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Did you mean it?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Luke’s voice went softer than before, staring down at her with wide eyes. She hadn’t seen him so persistent before, at least not with her. Their relationship as teenagers stemmed from a years long friendship and dancing on a thin line of wanting more, so he never had to ask things from her like this. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I said a lot of things in the song“ Julie shrugged, suddenly growing shy under his gaze, trying to fight the intensity of what he wanted to know. “I don’t know.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Did you mean it when you said that you still loved me?” He didn’t hold back, not with something as important as this. Luke was never one to play around with Julie’s heart, because this girl meant the world to him. “Did you mean it, Julie?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The whole point of writing and wanting <em> Drivers License </em> to be produced was for Luke to hear it, and even if she shifted the narrative a little bit to make it more mainstream and relatable for an entire audience….Julie was talking about him. She was singing to him the entire time, and every time she would sing this song in the future, it would be <em> for </em> him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She told him that night in the car, that she despised the fact that her heart wouldn’t give up on him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It still may be true, but Julie wasn’t going to deny it anymore. She <em> wanted </em> to love him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Yeah,” She exhaled, feeling his hand twitch against her hip as he leaned in closer; his lips hovering close to her nose. <em> Oh god </em>. “How could I not love you?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>If she called the feather-like peck that he gave her by accident last week a kiss—this was something new, familiar and breathtaking all at once—she didn’t know what to do now. She froze as his lips met hers, his hand holding her hips in place as he tilted his head to go along with her slowly. A noticeable shiver goes down her spine at the feeling of his other hand curling around the back of her neck, and that’s when she finally melts into his touch. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie finds his elbow, tugging him closer as she kissed him back; for real this time. She pressed a little harder on his mouth, just before he pulled back an inch of space to calm them down. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I never stopped.” He tells her, thumb caressing the side of her jaw, not being able to hide the smile on his face. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie felt like she was floating on a cloud, still having the buzz on her lips from kissing him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Six years is a long time.” She holds onto his wrist, wanting to keep some sort of contact with him. Just before Luke is able to lean down to kiss her for the second time, she feels her phone (that she even forgot she had with her) buzz in her front pocket. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>That could only be one person. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Flynn. </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She had a flight tomorrow morning. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She had to go to New York tomorrow. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Reality came rushing down on her, crashing too fast, too sudden; the feeling of a cloud turning to a rainstorm. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie pulled away from him abruptly, bringing her phone out of her pocket to look at the screen. Luke came closer, trying to peer at what the message said, but stepped back to give her space. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He must’ve heard what Willie told her earlier. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I heard when you thanked Flynn, I figured it was something good right?” He asked, a sourness to his tone that made her wish they never kissed. If they never kissed the way they did, she wouldn’t hate the way she felt right now. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie cleared her throat, already feeling the burn of tears coming on. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’m going to New York tomorrow morning for press interviews, I found out after the show.” She sighed, knowing what she had to do next. She had to say goodbye to <em>him</em> this time. “I’m sorry, I have to go.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Julie, I don’t want this to be over between us.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Luke reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>That’s when her heart broke for the second time because of him, because of their paths that never seemed to cross nowadays. She was angry at the world, at some higher power that didn’t want them to be in the same place at the same time to prove her wrong. To prove that teenage love never lasts. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Me either.” Julie squeezed his hand back with little effort, hoping the stage curtain could swallow her up and make her stay and fix things further. “I never wanted you to go before, you know.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Smiling sadly, Luke admitted. “I wanted you to come with me.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>If that wasn’t clear from the multiple times he did ask her when they were younger. He asked her to go for the spring semester at NYU and come with them to follow the bands’ dreams, but she couldn’t do that. She wanted to go to school, and as much as she loved him, she couldn’t drop everything she was doing herself to go with him across the state. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Just like how she couldn’t do that now. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She didn’t even know what his schedule looked like now, and Julie wouldn’t doubt that if she asked...he would be going back to the studio and spending endless nights writing music for his next album. She would be looking into buying an apartment in New York next year, and their little bubble they created behind this curtain right now wouldn’t last. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I really gotta go.” Julie tells him, retracting her hand back and looking up at him with a frown that he would never forget. For the first time since he’s returned back into her life, she had never looked sad to leave him like this before. It brought back painful memories of the airport that they both didn’t want to relive. “I’ll see you around, Luke.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Don’t say goodbye.” Luke urged, taking his small leap of courage and crushed chance at happiness to pull her arm so he could hold the side of her face as he kissed her. It was quick and rushed and lasted only a second, but they both needed it. “I’m<em> not</em> saying goodbye to you again.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She wasn’t going to do that either. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“We can’t just pretend like we both don’t have a career anymore, Luke.” Julie said, and it was a slap in the face they both needed. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He bit his lip to stop from saying anything, knowing she was right but he didn’t want to admit it. She reached up to brush a few curls from his forehead, and his eyes closed at the feeling. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“You’re right.” Luke says. “I just don’t want to lose you.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>His words hit her right in the heart, and she feels like she would break down into tears if she didn’t leave his embrace immediately. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“You won’t.” She promised, and she swore to keep it. “I’ll call you.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>When Flynn calls her name out loud from somewhere in the club, Julie rips herself away from him and runs towards the front doors. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Just like before...Julie really needed a hug to deal with losing Luke after being so close to getting him back. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em><br/>And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one, oh </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Flynn picked up the other end of the suitcase to help her lift from the car trunk. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie nodded, thinking about how a few days to herself would be good for her. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Yes, I’m sure.” She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her friend's concern, but both of them knew how Julie needed some time to deal with what happened last night with Luke. “You can’t come everywhere with me, you know?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Flynn scoffed and closed the trunk, clapping her hands together while looking down at Julie’s suitcase and coat hanging off the handle. She was comfortable in a black sweatshirt and her favorite pair of jeans, and she took the chance to adjust her glasses as she surveyed the floor for anything that she might’ve dropped. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It was mid October, so Julie really didn’t know what the weather was like on the east coast but she didn’t wanna take chances. Her press outfits had been packed nicely in her suitcase, and Julie took the opportunity to dress comfortably now before wearing skirts and suits for the next four days. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Willie and some members of the team said they would meet you tomorrow, so I hope you live it up on the town for one night!” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Live it up?” Julie questioned, moving to lift her suitcase up on the sidewalk to get off the curb. Her flight left in two hours, but with the crowd of people going through the doors of her departure gate...she was happy she got there early. “I’ll be in my hotel room the entire time.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“No more crying, please.” Flynn pleaded, and Julie huffed. “You can’t keep crying over the same guy and as much as I want you guys to work out—<em> Luke </em>.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>(She didn’t hear the faint “<em> Julie!” </em>that alerted Flynn the first time) </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Are you the one going through a heartbreak cause that made no sense.” Julie laughed, although Flynn’s shock stayed evident on her face which caused her brows to furrow together in confusion. Dismissing her expression, Julie patted her sweatshirt pocket for her phone and wallet to make sure she had it. “I should get going—“ She sighed. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“You might wanna wait.” Flynn urged, and she pointed behind her with a smile on her face. Julie followed her line of sight, gripping onto her suitcase when she saw who she was pointing at. “I think he wants to get a few last words in, Jules.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Flynn wasn’t mixing up words earlier, because she had been right. <em> It was Luke. </em>He looked like he just rolled out of bed to come chase her down at the airport, with a mix matching set of maroon sweatpants and navy sweatshirt. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Most of the crowd of people she had noticed when she first got out of the car had vanished into the airport, so there was little distance between them and she wanted nothing more than to rush over to him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She looks to Flynn nervously, but her friend is quick to ground her. “He doesn’t give up, and he’s only stubborn for you.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>That wasn't true. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Julie leaves her bags with Flynn to make her way over to him. She would allow him a few minutes to say whatever he had to say. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Luke doesn’t even wait for her to say hello before he starts speaking, so she really underestimated how eager he would be to get things off his chest.  “I know you have to leave, and I’m not trying to stop you from going to New York to promote your song.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Well it’s a good thing he was clear about that, because Julie had no idea why he was even here in the first place if he wasn’t going to stop her. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Luke I don’t have the time to—“ </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He doesn’t bother to listen, losing all self composure he had left in dealing with Julie these last three weeks as his hands reach upwards to cup her cheeks in his hands. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Just listen to me.” Luke pleaded, and her small nod of agreement was enough for him to continue. The morning sun was shining down on them, and Julie wasn’t sure if his eyes were getting teary or if everything around them was too bright. She felt the same way. “Do you remember what you told me when you dropped me off at the airport after we broke up?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She nods again, too afraid to stutter or speak with him so close to her. It didn’t help that the memory was something she’s blocked out for so long and only started to think about that time of her life recently. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“You told me that we had different dreams, that we would never work together again if you had your own dreams and I had mine.” He repeats for her to recall the memory, and he licks his lips to continue in his fit of passion. “I’m doing everything I wanted to do as a kid and <em> more</em>, Julie. I’m living out my dream, and so are you.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Luke, I—“ Julie didn’t know what to say, she was speechless with how much she loved the person in front of her. And she had no idea how they got here. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“You have to go to New York and promote the hell out of this song that you wrote,” Luke was so happy that he was confessing how he’s felt for the past six years, three weeks, their entire lifetimes about the girl in front of him that he couldn’t stop smiling. “I want you to go so we can both live out our dreams, but…” He paused, both thumbs rubbing soft circles on her cheeks as he thought of how to say the next part. “I’ll be here for you,waiting, supporting, and loving you. Because <em> god </em> Julie, I love you.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I can’t believe you.” Julie said in awe, as Luke used his fingers to wipe under her eyes for any tears that fell as a result from his speech. “I was gonna go without this whole fantasy last minute speech you had planned.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He leaned in closer, gleefully kissing her forehead. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I couldn’t let you leave without knowing if you’ll take me back.” Luke says honestly, having the intention to pull back to give her some space but she only tugged him by the pockets of his sweatshirt to keep him in place. He grinned, “Is that a yes?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie couldn’t resist anymore, having leaned up to press their lips together in a sweet kiss. His hands gripped her face in response, letting them share this moment together before she had to leave. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“That’s a yes.” She pulls back slowly a few seconds later, her skin growing warm and blushing under his hands.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She looks up at him, takes a really good look at how much he’s grown over the years and makes a silent wish that the rest of their lives can be like this moment in time; can be a representation of the overwhelming joy and love they have for each other. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Listen, lovebirds!” Flynn called from behind them, making Luke chuckle and Julie’s head fall to rest on his chest in a fit of laughter at the nickname. <em> Oh yeah, this definitely feels like high school. </em>“Julie really has to leave!” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Luke wraps his arms around her in a hug, and she decided in that moment that her definition of home would always be with him. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>That was when she realized that she didn’t say it back. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’ll see you later, how does that sound?” He asks her in a low voice so she is the only one to hear. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><em> He knew she hated goodbyes. </em>They both did. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie really liked the sound of that. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I’ll call you when I land.” She made the promise to him, fixing their embrace so she could wrap her arms around his neck and pull herself up into their last hug. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I love you, Jules.” He said into her ear, and it was a statement that she missed so much that she could cry if she really wanted to. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I love you too.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>For something she hadn’t said in six years, the words came as easy as writing songs. The words she’s been writing ever since she was small have always been a part of her, coming from the vulnerability of opening her heart up to share with the world. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>As for her heart? Julie knew it always belonged to Luke. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <span class="u">June 3rd 2021</span> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie couldn’t lie to herself. The boys and her spent weeks trying to come up with a good name that would be an eye catcher to their audiences and fans, and the one Reggie came up with <em> actually </em> wasn’t bad. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She had to stop being surprised with his ideas in the first place. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He had been the one to suggest going on a joint tour this summer to promote each of their albums, and they were all quick to agree and jump at the opportunity to ask their managers—mostly because Alex had grown a liking to Willie, and she wouldn’t pass up a summer going on tour with her boyfriend—so that was set in stone for them starting in July. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The '<em>Shine Bright Tour With Sunset Curve and Julie Molina’ </em>had a nice ring to it. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She was all for promoting shows with a good message. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Although, even if Luke shut her disagreement up with a kiss, Julie would have to talk to them later about putting her name first in line. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>This summer was definitely going to be interesting, and much better than the last. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>(And if she had seen a red velvet box in the back of Luke’s dresser draw in their New York City apartment a few months later by accident as she searched for his old <em>Rush</em> shirt...then he didn’t need to know.) </p>
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